Moving Forward ?

I wish someone could tell me how to move forward with my life. How do I pick up these shattered pieces and put it all back together again. It's been almost 9 months since my world fell apart..shouldn't it all be easier by now? There are some days when I can carry on and smile but there are more days when I just feel like I should lock myself away. I lost the love of my life with no warning...BAM...it was done and there was no turning back. I had no say so in any of it, it hit me like a huge pile of bricks and it feels like those bricks are still right on top of me getting heavier with each day that passes. I thought I had my future all planned out, but now he's planing "my" future with someone else and no matter how much I lie about it or how big of a front I put on it still hurts as if it were yesterday. How can you just turn around and walk away? How do you get yourself in that mode of pretending like it never happened. We made 4 beautiful babies together, we made so many precious memories together, we made a life together so how? I can't get past asking myself that question every single day of my life. I could see it if things for us had ever been bad, but they were not. We were the best of friends and enjoyed everything we did together so why would you want to leave that to go off into something so uncertain to start all over again? I just can't make myself understand, if I could it may be so much easier for me to move on.
Every time I leave my house I'm haunted, every place I go and everything I do reminds me of the life, the love I have lost. Everywhere I turn there is some sort of memory. I see families together and my heart breaks because I long for those moments and I feel so bad for the kids because I know they long for the same thing. Will I ever truly get past this? Will I ever have love again? Will I ever allow myself to fall again? Will there ever be anyone who can fill this void in our lives? So many unanswered questions. So much pain. I just want to be happy again.