For just one second, take a step back and think about this question. What would you do if your spouse came to you and told you they no longer felt attracted to you because they were gay? How would you handle this? Is this something you are truly ever ready for? I always told myself that if my husband left me that I would much rather it be for another man than a woman...but you know what? Either way it doesn't make it any easier at all. It hurts just as bad. I feel as if my heart has been ripped out of my chest. 11 years of marriage, of trust, of love, of building a family and a life...all for what? So he could just walk away because he decided he was living a lie. How is it a lie if he was happy? We were happy.
I try so hard to make myself understand, I try to remember that God is the one that is in control of my destiny but it's so very hard to hold onto faith when you feel everyday is just another day to try and make it. I have found strength I never ever thought I could've had but I have drawn that strength from my babies. They are my life and they have lost something that is so very dear to them.
There are moments when I feel that I am at piece with this and then there are moments that I feel as if I am reliving the same nightmare all over again. Can I do this? Sometimes I feel...yes I can but some days I'm just not so sure.
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